Monday, June 9, 2014
One Picture Needs a Thousand Words
By Jody Worsham
All rights reserved for Botox, Detox, and orthopedic socks
Ok, I admit it. I am not the kind of person who spends a lot of time on her looks. To be totally honest, I am hair and fashion challenged. However, after this last cruise, I may to have to change my ways, it if is not too late.
My sister is seven years younger than I am. Growing up, she had to watch every bite she took or she would gain weight. I could eat hamburgers, malts, French fries AND onion rings and never gains an ounce. She had naturally curly hair and had to iron it with an iron on the ironing board to get it straight. Mine was naturally straight with a little wave.
Recently she and her husband went on a seven day cruise with my husband, me and the nine-year-old and the twelve-year-old. One of the neat things about a cruise is that there are at least ten photographers with varying backdrops scattered about the ship every evening. You can have your picture taken as many times as you like and you don't have to buy any of them if you don't want to.
Of course we had to have a family picture the first night. The first night is always the best night for pictures because with ice cream and pizza available 24/7 you will definitely weigh less that first night than the last and your slacks will still touch your ankles.
Now the thing is as you get older, young people get younger. So as we sought the most pleasing background, white with a white chaise lounge, the teeny-bopper photographer began arranging our group.
Dr. Hubby and I were to the right, me seated, then she placed my sister next to me, her husband behind her, and the children placed to the left of her. I remember thinking "Wonder why she put the children next to my sister?"
She snapped a few pictures then said "Ok, how about one with just the grandparents?" I looked around to see if our 94 year old mother had sneaked on board but the teeny bopper was looking right at me.
"Uh, no" I said, and before I could go into a full age discriminatory rage and say anything, she came back with "Ok, just Mom and Dad and the children." My sister couldn't stop laughing, I couldn't stop fuming, and Dr. Hubby and the children couldn't stop running.
The next morning I found the pictures in the gallery and quickly discarded them. I told my sister "You better watch out. These next seven years are going to take their toll on you."
That afternoon she and her husband headed to the gym and exercise room, attended seminars on detoxification, wrinkle removers, and skin care and picked only meals with the little heart emblem next to it at dinner. I ate three bowls of ice cream and made an appointment with Michael-the-South African-Hair-Wonder-Worker, but that is a story for next week.
Stay tuned to see if it's Carnival Time or Magic Time when I show up at the Cloud 9 beauty salon.