New Year's Predictions from the Swami Mommie

by Jody Worsham
All rights reserved for Predictable Predictions

I have had the privilege of interviewing the Texas Swami Mommie for the past several decades and I can tell you she is batting a thousand, 0 for 70, on a roll when it comes to New Year Predictions.  Here is what she told me last night.

1.  Gasoline prices will go up, then down, then up but will not stabilize in 2014.

2.  There will be scandal in Washington, but not in Nevada where it is legal.

3.  The Supreme Court will  determine if Twerking is pornography or just safe sex as practiced by Miley Cyrus in public.

4.  Obama Care becomes "I Don't Care".

5.  K-Mart, who gave us "I shipped my pants" and the jingling "bells", is continuing their marketing strategy with a variation of Deck the Halls for 2014.  Contract negations are underway with the Chippendales and The Thunder from Down Under.

6.  The National Spelling Bee, no longer having any qualifiers, will become the National Texting Bee. TMYDTD (texting makes you dumber than dirt)

7.  A&E's executives will be required to under go 200 hours of sensitivity training and remedial accounting.

8.  A printed newspaper will become the newest exhibit at the Smithsonian and placed next to a book.

9. DISH and Direct TV will see competition from U-tube.

10.  Toronto mayor, Rob Ford, will seek US citizenship in order to run for Congress.