By Jody Worsham
All rights
reserved for Camouflage and Dr. Scholes Gel Inserts
The chances
of winning the lottery are slim to none and I’ve already invested 50 years in
getting used to this hubby so I am going to Plan B.
Plan B is to
stake out Home Depot and Lowes and look for the DIY Crashers. It doesn’t matter what they want to crash ___bath,
kitchen, yard, house, ___I need it all.
We started building our house in l973; it is a work in non-progress. Last Saturday I spent all day at Lowes looking
for the crashers. I wandered the
plumbing aisles looking for Matt Muenster, the cabinet aisles looking for Alison
Victoria, the garden section for Ahmed Hassan and Matt Blashaw, and the storage
section in search of Josh Temple.
I should
have worn my glasses. After asking total
strangers if they wanted to follow me home (well, they looked like the men and
women of DIY and HGTV), Lowes was beginning to follow me around. Before they called our local vice squad and
my name appeared in the local Crime Report, I bailed for Home Depot in search
of the haters: you know, James Young and I Hate My Kitchen, I Hate My Bath with
Jeff Devlin , and the new girl Sara Bendrick with I Hate My Yard.
After
hanging around Home Depot for the entire afternoon, the only thing I hated more
than my house was my aching feet. Nobody
wanted to follow me home. Nobody offered
to fix anything in my house. Nobody even
asked what I was doing there, so I went home.
After
reviewing some episodes of HGTV and DYI,
I came to the conclusion I didn’t stage myself properly. I should have covered the gray in my hair
and put on a body Spanx for sure. Most
of the “targets” were young, slim, and trim, and only rarely did I see anyone
over the age of 35. Probably according
to their audience demographics, viewers were not interested in seeing bathtubs
with rails, raised potties, and roll in showers for the senior citizen
group. From a long term advertisement
investment, they would get more mileage out of the 20-35 age group than the
older group!
Personally,
I think they are missing the boat. Most
of us Baby-Boomers Plus own our own homes which haven’t been updated since the
70’s because we have been busy working, paying bills, and putting our children
through college without taking government hand-outs. We would have updated our mortgage-free homes
in our retirement years except 2.3 million of us are raising or caring for our
grandchildren.
It is easy for designers to create spa like
bathrooms, but the challenge is to make an attractive spa like bathroom for
seniors that doesn’t look like a physical rehab center. To be fair I did see an episode where Matt
designed a bath for a handicapped young man.
Plant those shrubs, put in that water/fire feature but can you do that
and make it low maintenance and economically feasible for persons on a fixed
income? Can you design a kitchen that
has non-slip flooring, accessible cabinets, and safety features that are
attractive and functional?
Even if you
aren’t a Baby Boomer, there are many adults with Baby Boomer parents who would
like to see their parents remain in their own homes, independent and safe, or
who must now adapt their own homes to accommodate the needs of senior parents
who may be moving in with them.
So, HGTV, DIY,
that’s your challenge. In the meantime,
I’m going back to Lowes for some paint and lumber. Forget the hair color, the body Spanx, and
the stake out. Just like the Little Red
Hen, I’ll DIM (Do it Myself.)
Ok, I really
didn’t do any of that but I thought about it.
And Mother always said “It’s the thought that counts.”
7 comments:
Take a close look at those remakes, Judy, and you'll feel better. I grit my teeth and scream in my head at the bad paint jobs. Does no one know how to cut in around a window or at the ceiling any more!!?? Grrrrrr...
But I won't come paint for you. That's what you teach grand kids to do.
This is a great piece. I can see you in Lowe's. You might be able to convince that you didn't really do it, but I know you.
You should send this to a DIY magazine and one that we or you DIY.
You should ABSOLUTELY submit it to a makeover magazine!!
I loved the 'work in non-progress' - that's us to a T. We have been redecorating (not for about thirty years. The Man decided to paint a door a day a couple of years ago. At the rate he's going they won't be finished until 2043.
You are so right about the targets of the home improvement shows always being young and thin. No fair! They have more energy to DIY than us old fat people! Funny as usual, Jody!
I can't stand home improvement things, because it makes me feel incompetent.
I really don't trust myself to do any hardware things and I'll probably have to resort to hiring and overpaying to get someone else to do it for me.
Ah, HGTV. You complete me.
I used to do bunches of DIM. But I am getting older. And tired. And like you, MM, I'm going home to my couch. :)
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