Total Pageviews

Monday, February 18, 2013

Inventory or Junk? Part Duh

By Jody Worsham

All rights reserved for Auction Anonymous

It depends on the person you ask.  Our auction/bargain hunting days have now spanned forty-eight years.  During that time what he buys is still inventory and what I buy, he claims is junk.  I fail to see the difference.

But to be fair all of the chest of drawers from the auction 48 years ago are gone except for two I have in my sewing room.  The birch became tables, workbenches, cabinets, and chairs.  Most of the remaining bedframes, after supplying six children with multiple beds and a few trips to the salvage yard when funds were low, were made into fence posts to fence our thirty-five acres of land.  It was a little strange to see, but it kept the horses and cows off the road.  The few remaining bedframes are in a small pile in the back pasture.

It turned out the band uniforms were not a bad investment.  Each uniform had sixty-four silver knob buttons, six yards of woven nylon cording that formed the citation cords, and a hat with a plume.  I offered band uniforms to every theatre department that was even thinking about performing “Music Man”.  The Nacogdoches Historical society bought some to use as the basis for Santa Anna’s officers for a re-enactment.  A couple of choirs bought some to use as costumes for toy soldiers.  My students strung and hung silver buttons on stage to create a perfect starry night and we have used the nylon cording to tie up just about everything.

But I am a little worried today.  Sutherland’s has been going out of business since Christmas and Dr. Hubby has been adding to his “Never-know-when-you-might-need-it inventory” since before Christmas.  I now have a weather thermometer in every bedroom, bathroom, and closet in the house just because they were a good price.  Today is the final, final, really final last day public auction.

With his first call he announced “I got you some shelving.  I don’t know what you can do with it, but it was a good buy.”  That had me a little worried.  Why would there be any question about what you would do with shelving unless…I won’t go there…yet.

His second call said “I got you some yard sticks.  Think you can find a use for them?”  By now I was getting a little leery.

“How many?”

“A  case…or two….”

“Ok, well that’s not bad.  The school can probably use some yard sticks I….you said a case or two…how many cases?   Exact number.”


“And how many yard sticks in a case?”  I was learning.


“You bought 4,000 yard sticks?  What are we going to do with 4,000 yardsticks?”

“Make tables?  Use them to make Santa Anna-Music Man-Toy Soldier Scarecrows?”

The third time the phone rang I almost didn’t pick it up for fear of what he had bought next.  However, imagining what he had bought was worse than knowing.

“What did you buy this time?”

“Uh, now it only has 50,000 miles on it.  It was a real good price. “

“I hope you are talking about a dolly.”

“It’s a truck.  Well, I had to have some way to haul my inventory home.”

Our town has a growing number of storage facilities.  If I read in the newspaper about a storage unit auction, I’m chaining him to his recliner and going myself.  There might be some good junk there that I can turn into inventory.  At least I won’t come home with 4,000 yardsticks!

No comments: