Friday, October 5, 2012
It isn’t a Faberge, but it could be!
By Jody Worsham
All rights reserved to explain the national debt
This all started with a business our tween-ager got for her birthday; actually it was the promise of a business. Really it was to be a hands-on business opportunity to explain how economics works and to provide her spending money. Together we would build a chicken pen, purchase some chickens, sell the eggs and make a fortune.
Our first mistake was purchasing 12 chickens on the Clearance Aisle at the local feed store. They were labeled as black and white speckled domineckers, the kind that is featured on country style dish towels and wallpaper. After a month of living in the barn and losing their cute yellow fuzz, none of them were black and white. They appeared to be the illegitimate chicks of some Rhode Island Red and “a visiting rooster”.
Our second mistake was in underestimating the amount of space they would need. As they grew, so did the plans for the Trump Chicken Condos (see previous blog). Finally the TCC was ready for chickens.
All 12 chickens were transferred to Trump Condos. The tween-ager bought a clip board, calculator, pens, and a ledger to keep track of expenses.
April 2….. 12 chickens @ $3 each $36
April 3….. l sack of chick starter $ 7
April 17 2nd sack of chick starter $8.50 $8.50
May 1 50 feet of chicken wire, rafters, 24 2x4, tin, screws $489
May 2 3rd sack of chick feed $9.00 $9.00
May 14 Expanded Trump Chicken Condos, chain link, mortar, doors, $598
May 20 Additional feeder and waterer $25
June 1 Covered antique brick porch, rafters, tin $289
June 2 4 bags chicken feed @ $10 $40
June 16 4 bags chicken feed @ $12 each $48
July 6 `5 bags chicken feed @ $13 each $53
July 30 Discovers one chicken is a rooster (don’t ask)
Aug. 1 Adjusts projected income based on a dozen eggs a day to 11 eggs a day.
Aug. 2 Applies for Federal Disaster Relief based on loss of 365 eggs per year.
Aug. 3 Turned down as rooster is considered an asset capable of producing more chickens
Aug. 4 Reapplies for projected Federal Disaster Relief as future baby chicks could also be roosters.
Aug. 5 Turned down as Federal Government does not discriminate based on sex, same or opposite
Aug. 6 Advertises Rooster on E-bay.
Aug-Sept. 10 bags of laying mash @$13 each $l30
Sept. 11 The first egg laid at a cost of $1,740.50
Oct 24, 2077 Projected date when business will show a profit
Sept. 12 Files for Chapter 11
Sept. 13 Federal Government authorizes a bail-out of $2,984.00 based on number of persons who would be unemployed if her business failed.
Sept. 14 Files suite against chicken hatchery for mis-sexed birds
Oct. 1 Punitive damages of $3,894.22 awarded, lawyer takes half
Oct. 5 GOP pays $1,740.50 NOT to raise chickens in the future.
Oct. 6 Throws big party serving Sunny Delight, deviled eggs, and FRIED CHICKEN!
And that, my dear, is why America is in debt and no you can’t start a gold fish farm!