By Jody Worsham
All Rights Reserved for tip jar!
Over the course of some odd sixty plus years, I have learned a few things, mostly by trial and error, heavy on the error part. It is my sincere hope that through my tips you can avoid some embarrassing moments with your neighbors/local law enforcement and possibly keep your name off the school's "Minimal Parenting List". Please tell me your school has one of those and it's not unique to my kid's school. Here are some tips for overworked parents.
- Now while you may think putting your toddler on a Sit-N-Spin and squirting him with a water hose constitutes doing the laundry, it doesn't work that way … at least not the second time. What does work is to have a different colored laundry basket for each room in the house. Instead of folding clothes, toss items in the appropriate basket. Each person can then be responsible for folding and putting away his "room".
- Children cannot live by bread alone; they must have peanut butter and jelly and sometimes a vegetable or two. To avoid Corn Dog Prone-itis and frost bite fingers, find five good crock pot recipes and keep the ingredients stocked up in your pantry. Post the recipes in a prominent place…like where you keep the chips and chocolate. Dinner can be assembled in the morning and ready to eat by supper time. Invest in those crock pot liners for fast clean up.
- What parent hasn't made a mad dash to Wal-Mart at 10:00 at night for supplies for a school project due the next morning? Ok, six times six kids for me but by the seventh kid, I learned. When school starts in the fall buy extra folders, markers, poster board, paper, glue, brads and hide them where the kids don't often look, like under their beds. It's cheaper than paying speeding tickets for those late night dashes; I speak from experience.
- If you are or ever have been the parent of a third grader, then you know what it's like to be scrounging around after dark with a flashlight in your neighbor's back yard; then trying to explain to the nice policeman that you are looking for twig "logs" for a pioneer log cabin due by first period the next day and not attempting burglary. I suggest you buy stick pretzels while you are at Wal-Mart. They come in various log sizes and when glued to a cereal box, look just like logs…sort of…from across the room. At least it might keep your face from being plastered on every street sign by the Neighborhood Crime Watch.
- While you are at Wal-Mart stocking up on extra school supplies, colored laundry baskets, and pretzel logs, you may as well grab a couple of generic birthday presents for the birthday party you forgot or was told about an hour before the party. Puzzels are good as are Frisbee's and card games. Beats embarrassing the Birthday Child when he tries to cash a hot check.
- Oh, and my final tip for this time concerns travel. When you've had enough laundry, school projects, crock pot meals, log cabins, instant birthday parties, and you can't take it anymore,
take that brown/black suitcase and wrap bright colored or decorative duct tape around the suitcase just below the zipper line. You will be able to spot your luggage coming off the carousel right away, even among other brown/black suitcases, thereby making a quick get-away before you are caught…or guilt sets in.
If you find these tips useful or even semi-humorous, I will have a tip jar out by the mailbox. Feel free to contribute.