By Jody Worsham
All rights reserved for Arthur Murray lessons
Being senior parents of a fourteen-year-old and a ten-year
old, the timing is off for some types of activities, skydiving, playing catch
for more than five minutes, snow skiing, or staying up past eight o’clock. Our social gatherings seldom included
children unless grandchildren happen to be visiting our friends at the
time. So when we were invited to a wedding,
we took advantage of it, especially when we were promised other children would
be there. It occurred to me that our
children had never been to a wedding of any kind. Time to expand their world.
This was to be a Catholic wedding. I had never attended a Catholic wedding
myself, but I had friends who had so I
knew it was going to be much longer than the usual twenty minute Protestant “I
Love You Truly”, repeat after me, “I now pronounce you man and wife” ceremony.
I tried to prepare everyone.
The ten-year-old was cool with the length until I
told him he could not take his I-pod, DS Nintendo, or I-phone. I promised him there would be lots of
standing and kneeling so he wouldn’t be just sitting the whole time. The kneeling part made Dr. Hubby wince. After explaining that Miss Me jeans would not
be appropriate for a formal wedding even if they were covered with bling, I
promised to take the fourteen-year-old shopping for a dress. Unfortunately I used the word “appropriate”
before the word “dress” which immediately triggered an episode of eye rolling.
The day of the wedding arrived and we made it through
the ceremony with a minimum of wiggling, wincing, and watch checking (on the
part of Dr. Hubby); then it was off to the reception and party time. The food was delicious and the band was
great. With the children’s plates loaded
with groom’s cake, wedding cake, chocolate covered strawberries, chicken,
cheese squares, and an ample supply of punch, we were free to dance. The DJ had asked for all couples to come to
the dance floor. The slow music began
and after a minute the DJ. said:
“Now it is time for all unmarried couples to leave
the floor.” That cleared out all the
bridesmaids and groomsmen.
“If you have been married less than three hours,
please leave the floor.” That got the
bride and groom off the dance floor.
“If you have been married less than ten years, you
may leave the floor.” That took out four
or five couples. The music continued. Dr. Hubby stepped on my toe.
“Couples married less than twenty-five years, may
sit down.” How long is this song? I
wondered.
“Married less than thirty years, time to sit down.” That sent the bride’s parents to their table. That trumpet player sounded a little winded.
“If you have been married forty years or less, I
know you will be glad to leave the floor. There are only four couples left. The drummer dropped his sticks. Dr.
Hubby stepped on my other toe.
“If you have made it to forty-five years or less of
marriage, you may sit down.” That took
out everybody but that elderly couple and us.
I think I am getting a leg cramp.
“If you have been married fifty years or less, God bless
you and sit down.” The elderly couple
sat down leaving us alone on the floor,
From the time
I was sixteen, I had dreamed of this moment…
American Bandstand and the Spotlight Dance!
Dr. Hubby held me close and whispered “I’ve got to
sit down.”
I whispered back “Shut up and Dance!”
