Lessons Learned from BS Camping

by Jody Worsham
All rights reserved in case of memory loss

Having survived the granny-and-me-near-campout experience, I think it wise to pause and record those lessons learned before we do this again.

First, if you are told to bring mosquito repellant what they mean is "Wear full body armor capable of repelling an attacking horde of steel nosed, blood sucking vampire insects the size of large bats."

Second, if they say "Campout will be held rain or shine", they mean "Campout will be held until rising water reaches your armpit or your tent floats away, whichever comes first.

Third, if they say "Be Prepared" they mean "We are prepared for any possible lawsuit; therefore, all scout masters are certifiable."

In all fairness, I think I am beginning to understand the Boy Scouts of today which is different from those young lads in England who took that military manual and used it for adventures in the outdoors.

I didn't understand the need for so much "training" of the scout leaders to do things I grew up knowing  or had learned from experience and common sense; but I grew up in a rural setting.  If you didn't have a BB gun by the time you were six and knew how to use it safely, then there was something wrong with you or your daddy.

Fishing was something you did after your chores and every chance you got.  Your first slingshot was made from a forked branch you cut with your own pocket knife and two strips cut from an old inner tube.

We were climbing trees, jumping out of barns, and whittling on sticks without any protective gear.  We swam in un-chlorinated ponds.  We had skinned knees, stubbed toes but amazingly few broken bones.  I live in a rural setting and my little scout is growing up the same way, but I'm thinking this is no longer the norm.

Today the majority of our population lives in the city.  If you want to shoot, you have to go to a shooting range or join a gun club.  To fish you have to have a license and a permit to enter the lake property.  Most Home Owner Associations frown on anyone cutting branches to make a sling shot.  To climb anything, you must got to a park and climb on tubular geodesic structures with a minimum of six inches of shredded rubber or pea gravel beneath.  Kids wear elbow guards, shin guards, mouth guards, and helmets.  There are fewer skinned knees, stubbed toes, but no scars and experiences to share with your friends either.

So I salute the Boy Scouts for providing these experiences for our children and if they have to put the adults through training so they will know what to do, then so be it.  You can't teach if you don't know.

And in a lawsuit happy society, then yes, Be Prepared.