Table Talk

by Jody Worsham
All righs reserved for Plumbers Helper

Dr. Hubby plays poker with the "boys" once a week and I go out to eat with the "girls" once a month. For me, it is an opportuniy to engage in live conersation with humans as opposed to conversing with a seven-year-old and a tweenager; well, it is if you don't count my daily exchanges with Wal-Mart cashiers.  He comes home with all kinds of stories and jokes which I don't get.  I began to wonder if my group's table talk was the norm.  

I know from what I've read and e-mail exchanges, that ladies between 50 and 92 seem to be gear their conversations toward grandchildren, gardening,  menopause, who died, and aches  and pains, heavy on the aches and pains the closer you get to 92. My group may be a little different.

We are an ecclectic group of educated women mostly over the age of 50, some empty nesters, some retired or want to be, some divorcees, some widows, some with grandchildren, and one with young children still at home (me).  This is the group that I went on a mission trip with and taught them how to play the slot machines at a nearby casino.  They taught me about "knocked up roses".

Last night at dinner,  the first topic of conversation was a review of all the newest restaurants in town and which had the best specials and when. This was music to my ears because it did not involve cooking. I took notes.  The reviews were mostly good, so no home burned meals for my family for the next several days.

The next topic revolved around repairing a leaky faucet.  My friend with the leaky faucet was adamant about NOT hiring a plumber.  She had managed to get the faucet turner-on-and-off removed and the little gold circle thing but she wasn't sure if the white plastic thingy popped off or not.  Ms Fix-It said she had only removed faucets from the bottom.  Ms Innovative said to take a picture of  all the "innerds" and take it to a local plumbing shop.  That's what she had done when she needed the number of something on the bottom side of her kitchen sink.  "$1.36 for the part, not $36 for a new faucet which was what the big box store had wanted me to buy. "

With that global crisis settled, we moved on to the weather; we heard thunder.  Four of the women whipped out their i-phones, Androids, Razors and gave the rest of us the weather report.  One noted that it was 76 degrees outside, a drop of  16 degrees since we came in.  Another reported heavy clouds moving in. One pulled out her Farmer'sAlmanac and said it  would likly be raining tomorrow. I stuck my hand out the windw and said it was raining now. The next hour was devoted to discussing the i-phone versus the Jitterbug as opposed to a pocket calendar and the need for Boomer  Technology classes.

When I returned home, Dr. Hubby said "Well, what was the big topic of conversation this time?"   "Oh, just the usual table talk. By the way, I found a new place to eat tomorrow.  There's a special on Thursdays."