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Friday, August 31, 2012

Pardon Me, Your Blog is Showing

By Jody Worsham

All rights reserved for a full length

I don’t know how everyone else finds my blog, but to get to it, I Google The Medicare Mom and up pops all the titles that contain the phrase “The Medicare Mom.”  Then I click on the top one, and it takes me to this green page you are reading now.

Yesterday, out of curiosity, I scrolled past the first one and clicked on the second entry.  I was pleased to find that McAfee tests me and finds me to be virus free.  That’s good because yesterday I thought I might have picked up a virus.   It must have been that day old pizza I had for breakfast.

A little further down, I clicked on to The Medicare Mom stats.  There I learned that I was ranked 12,108,885th.  I was ecstatic until I remembered my brief encounter with statistics in college.  Was that 12,108,885th out of a number larger than our national debt?  If so, hooray I have a ton of readers!   I have a platform bigger than the 3x4 ft. deck in my backyard.  Or was that 12,108,885th out of a possible 12,108, 886?  And if so, do those statistics count the number of times daily that I check to see if anybody left a comment? Then, that is not so good.  I am my own top reader.

I kept going.  This was fascinating in a depressing sort of way.  I have more Google entries than I have readers.  One site estimated my worth at $465.91.  That’s more like it.  But where is it?  It’s probably lost in the mail since I can’t find my Pay Pal password.  No, that has to be potential worth or dial-up expenses because I don’t have any advertisers, sponsors, contests, polls, or giveaways.  I just have me.  Another site had my worth at $33,75 but I don’t trust that site.  They obviously don’t use our math system because we have to have four numbers to use a comma or they miss-typed and put a comma where they intended a period.  $33.75?

A site called WOT (web of trust) ranked my overall trustworthiness at 90% giving me three out of four people on the graft.  I only got 89% on vendor reliability but I don’t know how they came up with that number because I don’t have any vendors.  I got 88% on privacy, I guess because I don’t understand links and link backs so I don’t have many.

This last ranking on WOT, I question.  I got three out of five people on the graft and a ranking of 85% on child safety.  Do they not know the government, after extensive investigation, awarded me permanent custody of eight children and two donkeys, a driver’s license, a passport, and a teaching certificate?  I looked back over my blog entries and the only thing I can see that would warrant an 85% child safety ranking would be my entries on cooking.  Maybe I should have posted a warning:  This meal was cooked by a non-professional with absolutely no training in the kitchen.  DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME…and do not attempt to eat unless you were lost on a desert island for six years and have proven you can digest anything…and I mean anything.

 Even if you think no one is reading your blog, someone is or some THING.  Better check for slips.  Your blog is definitely showing.




Anonymous said...

Wow....that's freaky. I think I will see what I can find out about myself.

Jody Worsham said...

I was going to check some others but I was afraid I would find "1,220 daily visitors" and I would get totally bummed out.

Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe said...

I always read your blog, but I may not count in statistics as I am not between the ages of 18 and 45. I think they are the only ones that matter in surveys.

Jody Worsham said...

Well that's dumb! Every reader matters. Duh. I bet it's one of those Brass Monkey or some kind of monkey surveys.

Sharon said...

I wonder what scary thing I might find if I do a search. thanks for making it funny.