How Dumb…do they think I am?

By Jody Worsham

All rights reserved for tests for signs of intelligence in commercials

Is it just me or are there some really dumb commercials out there; commercials that you see and think "What were they thinking" but lately the dumb commercials must think I'm dumb also.

Take for instance the Lysol hands free soap dispenser. "You never have to touch a germy soap dispenser again." Ok, now the general sequence of events is 1) your hands get dirty 2) you turn on the faucet to get your hands wet 3) your germy hands push the soap pump 4) AND THEN YOU WASH YOUR HANDS, the same germy hands that touched the soap pump that are now being washed clean. So the Lysol soap can't remove the few extra germs you picked up on the soap dispenser? I'm more concerned about touching the faucet again, after you've washed your hands. What am I missing here?

The Snickers Squares with the sharks is not only dumb, but in bad taste (oh, no pun). Maybe Steve should have just stayed out of the water. Or maybe I object because the commercial for the" Soul Surfer" movie (the one where the girl loses her arm to a shark and then comes back to win some surfing contest) played within the same couple of hours. Sharks eating people because the people ate Snicker's Squares doesn't make me want to rush out in my bathing suit at the beach and buy Snickers Squares! Aren't ads supposed to make you want to buy their product?

The other commercial that has me thinking "Whaaat?" is the Bissel Spot Remover. Now the poor doggie has obviously made a "mistake" on the carpet. This dog must have had some major digestive issues because most of us would grab some paper towels, stomp on it with our shoe, throw the towels in the trash, and then follow up with a quick spritz of disinfecting soap and it's a done deal. I speak from recent experience having just gotten a shih tsu who is making her mark. But this doggie mess requires you to haul out a 24 inch by 24 inch huge machine that has to be filled with cleanser and water. Then you have to haul it to the spot, find a plug to plug it in, wait for it to clean up the job, empty the dirty water, coil up the electrical cord, and return it to the closet.

Northern Tissue was introducing their "quilted" version of their toilet tissue. Several cartoon characters were sitting around the tissue quilting…with knitting needles! Even I know you don't use knitting needles to quilt! I can't imagine an ad campaign going through all the levels it takes to get a commercial on national tv and nobody picked up on that. They pulled the ad after only a couple of weeks.

I don't think it's just me. Maybe the ad people have just watched too much television. They need to take up some activities, like digging in the dirt, swimming in the ocean…with sharks, walking the dog instead of wiping up after the dog, and quilting…with needle and thread.