Two Hooters and a Holler

By Jody Worsham

All rights reserved for a Day Away from the Home

Now that the children can make their own peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and as I head toward my eighth decade, I am rediscovering girlfriends.  Yes, I had friends in high school but after graduation I spent the next five decades getting a college degree, working, marrying, working, raising children, working, then raising another set of children.

My two retired neighbors and I had taken a day trip to First Monday, which is a gigantic flea market that begins on a Thursday.  We had such a good time we decided to take another little outing.  Friend One likes to shop; Friend Two likes to gamble.  I like to do both and since I am the kind of gambler casinos like, Margaritaville sent me a free room.  Well “free” in the sense I lost enough in the past to pay for three rooms.

Had I been driving, we would have been shopping and gambling in an hour and a half but evidently Friend Two observes speed limits.  Much much later, we arrived.  It was still too early to check into the hotel so we decided to introduce Friend One to slot machines.  After an hour and a half, Friend One had invested $10 in a penny machine and checked out $12.  Friend Two and I made a partial payment on the casino’s electric bill for the month.

After we checked into the hotel, it was way past time for lunch.  I steered them toward “Hooters”.

“There are only men in here,” commented Friend Two as she balked at the door.

“That’s ok.  They have to eat, too, besides the hamburgers are great”.  I failed to mention that I had never eaten at a Hooters.  But hey, it was girls’ day out.

Our waitress arrived with the menus.

“My goodness.  She looks like my granddaughter,” said Friend One.

“38? You have a granddaughter that’s 38?

“No, she’s 24.”

“I think you have to be at least 38 to work here.”

“Years?????”

“INCHES!!!”

We ate our delicious hamburgers amidst giggles and quick glances at the other waitresses.  After we finished I said to our waitress “Would you take a picture with us in front of the Hooter’s wall size poster? They don’t let us out of the home very often and we want proof that we were actually here…you know, in case we don’t remember tomorrow… or this afternoon.”

She was a good sport, especially since it took a while for us to figure out how to take a “selfie” picture with our new cell phones.  If you see the four of us on Facebook, Friend Two is the one covering her eyes and Friend One has the reddest face.  If our Hooter girl looks a bit shocked, it is because just before I snapped my “selfie” I asked for three applications for part time waitresses.

We shopped till we dropped.  Friends One and Two went to the room early and left me to make another installment on the casino electric bill.  I had just about covered this month’s bill, when I decided to give the Double Diamond bandit one more chance.

The first reel spun and stopped on the Double Diamond.

The second reel spun and stopped on the Double Diamond.

The third reel spun and the Double Diamond stopped…along with my heart.

JACKPOT!  Two Hoots and a Holler!

I took another “selfie” beside my three Double Diamond jackpot and headed up stairs to tell my friends.  When they found their glasses and could see my phone, they were sufficiently impressed.

With a Jackpot in my purse, I won’t have to turn in those Hooter applications.  I know that will make everyone happy, especially the customers at Hooter’s.

Wonder where we will go next?