Today, with Social Security and Medicare being what it is for us Senior Citizens, I have been considering what my next career move is going to be in order to pay for Medicare Part D-Q.
As a kid growing up and listening to Porter Wagoner and the Wagonmasters on the radio at my grandparents’ house, it seemed all you needed to create a hit country western song was to include a cup of coffee, a train whistling down a lonely track, rain, and a girlfriend who had left you. Add a steel guitar and a singer who could sing through his nose and you were a hit.
That was it. I am going to be a country western songwriter. Now I know nobody rides the train anymore, more like airplanes or motorhomes and coffee can't be just coffee; it has to be Starbucks or something. Rain is good and we need some. Today a girlfriend dumping you is just a quick text message, and I haven't heard a steel guitar since, well Porter Wagoner.
I’ll have to take a different approach but still keep true to the country western roots, maybe just updating it to reflect our modern times. I’ve got it. I’ll write a modern country western song about family. I’ll call it…
"I Am My Own Grandma!"
I gave you life; I raised you right
But all you did was party all night.
Now you're gone. You took my truck.
You left us three kids and hound dog named Buck.
We adopted the kids in the pouring rain.
Our family tree is hard to explain.
Kids, your daddy is your daddy and that will always be
But he is also your brother, cause you're all adopted see?
And your cousins are now your uncles
and your Paw is well your Paw
And I guess that makes me my own GrandMaw!
Now get me a cup of coffee;
Make that a mocha frappe and a straw.
Today I am your Mother, but yesterday I was your Grand Maw.
Chorus: We are just your typical family.
With a twisted family tree.
If some branches get chopped, and others spliced, it's all the same to me.
Cause when your kid ignores the law,
You can become your own Grandmaw!