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Thursday, March 8, 2012

From My Mouth to God's Ear

By Jody Worsham
All rights reserved for a muzzle

It was Service Sunday, a day when the members of our church gather together for a quick sandwich and then grab paint brushes, hammers, rakes, trash bags, or drills and set off in groups to help out the community, a sort of grass roots local missionary trip without going out of the city limits.

Sign-up sheets were provided so people could find the right job for their skill level. There were houses that needed to be painted, porches that needed railings, nursing homes that could use some Color Splash, trails that needed to be cleared of trash, and dogs that needed to be walked.

Guess which one the six-year-old and the ten-teen picked? Yes, we were going to walk dogs even though you have to bribe, conjole, or threaten to get them to walk their own dog. These dogs were in training as senior companions. I’m thinking “Ok, this isn’t so bad. They are all probably small dogs, poodles, shih tzus, other little fluff balls.” We got our map and off we went, dog leashes in hand.

The map was from Map Quest. Need I say more? Ok, I’ve lived in this community for 50 years
and I have driven down Hwy 7 many times but I was always looking down the highway or checking in the rearview mirror to see if I still had the horse trailer behind me. I was not looking at what is on the sides of the road.

I found the highway and also several white fences, one of the landmarks that was to mark the dog kennel place. The map said two tenths of a mile. When we had gone five miles, I decided we had passed it. I gripped the steering wheel and made a hard turn to the left, saving wear and tear on two of the tires as I did so.

“This is where she starts screaming”, said the six-year-old, a veteran of at least three
skirmishes and one all-out war with a paper-never-to-be-folded-correctly-again

“Not this time, this is a church trip,” replied the ten-teen.

“Nu uh, the back of her neck is red. She’s gonna start yelling any minute. Even God is gonna hear her!”

“I’m not going to scream!” I shouted over my shoulder to the back seat. “We can find this place.” I pulled over on the shoulder of the road and pulled out my GPS, Tom Tom. I punched in
the numbers but Tom didn’t know where it was either. I checked the number of the address. I back tracked to the starting point. “This time look for the numbers on the mail boxes and tell me if we are going up or down. Now what’s that number?”


“And this one?”

“There isn’t a number on this one,” came from the ten-teen.

We drove on for another mile. “And this one?” I asked.


“Are we going up or down? I can’t drive and remember numbers.” Truth is I can’t remember numbers whether I’m driving or not.

“I forgot” came from the ten-ten.

“She’s getting frustrated. She’s gonna start screaming. I don’t care if it is a church mission. She’s gonna start screaming,” came from the Been-there-heard-that-before six-year-old.


“See?” said the youngest.

I took a deep breath and continued down the highway. I pulled over at every mailbox with a number. The people following me thought I was an unmarked mail carrier practicing some kind of fake curbside delivery. After twenty minutes of mail-box hopping and shouting, we found the kennel. “Found it!” I hoarsely whispered. “We made it.”

The lady who owned the kennel greeted us and said “Hope you didn’t try to find this place
with a GPS. GPS doesn’t recognize this place. Guess we don’t exist. Hope the other family coming finds us.”

For the next three hours the children walked dogs; big dogs, medium dogs, but no small dogs. They petted dogs and they brushed dogs. They took the dogs through obstacle
courses. They asked questions. They even listened to half of the answers. They had a great time.

The other family never did show up. I guess they used On Star.

When it was time to leave and we were backing out of the drive-way, the six-year-old
timidly asked “Do you know the way home?”

“Yes,” I calmly said “I do.”

“Good,” said the six-year-old, “Cause I think God’s ears might be kinda sore.”

From my mouth to God’s ears… and back. Oops!


Anonymous said...

Alls well that ends well as the saying was a test and you passed.

Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe said...

I so relate to this post as getting lost is my hobby.r.

Joanne said...

GPS just frustrate me; they don't even sound like someone riding shotgun and saying turn right up there where the red car just turned. The last time TomTom rode in the car with me we circled a new doctor's office for half an hour. I finally pulled into some parking lot and called. "Oh, yes" said the nice receptionist. "GPS puts you on the wrong side of the over pass. You can see us from where you are. Come on over."

Wanda said...

Great piece. I can sympathize. When I travel I leave and extra hour for getting lost and unlost. I have found some really nice places being lost, so it isn't all bad.

Sharon said...

ROFL! God's ears must be burning.
Frankly, I never get lost, but I frequently take the scenic route. :-)

Joe Donatelli said...

Hard to believe any of us got anywhere before GPS. What's a "map"?

Sandra Tyler said...

well if you're 61 with a newborn, have to follow -- I'm the oldest mom I know, going on 50 with a 6 and 8 year old! Now I feel like a young chicken! (but not willing to lay any more eggs) new follower here and it's a joy!

Jennifer | The Deliberate Mom said...

Oh my goodness. Couldn't stop laughing!!! Thanks for entertaining me today!

Tereasa said...

Oh, oh, my side hurts from laughing so hard! "Her necks turning red." I've heard mine turns red, too. Apparently, they can also tell I'm mad when my nose turns red. LOL. I try not to let my children know when I'm lost. I think they believe u-turns are just how you get from here to there.

Sandra Tyler said...

You're super. Honoring you with the KREATIV BLOGGER AWARD. Go to my blog to see your name in bright lights, then check out the rules for the award, which I've pasted below: The Kreativ Blogger award comes with the following rules: 1. You must thank the person who has given you the award. 2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog. 3. Link the person who has nominated you for the award. 4. Name 7 things about yourself that people might find interesting. 5. Nominate 7 other Kreativ Bloggers. 6. Post links to the 7 blogs you nominate. 7. Leave a comment on which of the blogs to let them know they have been nominated. On

Jody Worsham said...

Thanks for the award but Iwill have to drive to the Geek Squad to do all that.