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Thursday, January 19, 2012

Books I Haven’t Written
By Jody Worsnam
All rights reserved to reserve all rights
In planning for the forthcoming Erma Bombeck Writer’s Workshop, I have become hyper motivated to the point that I have hurled myself into the book I haven’t written “Procrastination Can Wait Till Tomorrow.”
Not only that, I have twenty-one as yet unwritten sequels to follow. In no particular unfinished order they are:
“Laugh-er-cise”, Reduce stress, burn calories without breaking a sweat by reading this book.
“Laugh-a-robics”, for those needing a more intense workout for abdominal muscles than Laugh-er-cise”.
“Low Calorie Humor”, the premise is if you are laughing, you are not eating.
“Laughs for the Road”, a manual for avoiding road rage
“Traveling Down the Funny Highway”, especially written for those living in Arkansas and Louisiana
“Humor, Me” an autobiography written by my daughter.
“Granny Grins and Groans”, stories from my mother. What you thought that was me?
“Prime Timer Laughter”, stories to read when TV re-runs start, usually four weeks after the first episode.
“Senior Snickers”, a mystery book to determine who dun it.
“The Joy of Not Cooking”, a guide to the frozen and canned food section of major grocery chains.
“Drive by Laughter”, targeted for the ghetto neighborhood
“Drive Through Humor”, fast food that makes you laugh.
“Drive-In Funnies”, quick comebacks for when your order comes back wrong.
“Cooking and Other Humorous Events” Stories of when the cakes don’t rise, the soufflé falls, and there’s no dough in the middle.
“Organized Humor”, stories catalogued for those wearing Depends, drinking hot coffee, coke, or stuck in boring meetings.
“Yunnf R sU”, humor for dyslexics.
“Humor-roids”, for people who would rather stand and laugh than sit and groan.

Hurry, these books won’t be on sale any time soon. Shipping and handling included.

7 comments:

Anna Lefler said...

Ha! Looking forward to meeting you at EBWW!

:-) Anna

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

I'll take them all....

Jeanne said...

Hmm. Prime Timer Laughter. Won't work for me. I have to watch the reruns to remind myself what happened. After about 4 viewings, I start to recall the program.

Sharon said...

I'm with all of the above. So funny, Jody. Bring all your outlines to EBWW so we can giggle more.

gaylene said...

great titles :)

Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe said...

Looking forward to reading them all, a, a, probably tomorrow.

Charise said...

I love your titles and just the whole idea of all those ideas we'll get to someday... Looking forward to meeting you at EBWW. Thanks for stopping by my blog.