By Jody Worsham
All rights reserved for
Ship to Shore Sales Meetings
Have you ever wondered
what it takes to work on a cruise ship?
Well if you have ever cruised, you might think the first requirement is
to be able to spell your name without any vowels and speak with an accent, any
accent. Or the number of times you can work
the guests first name into the conversation during the first five minutes of
serving dinner.
“Oh, he-whoa. I am RTPGHK Blth Dpwrt, you server. And you are…?”
“Jody”
“Jody. Nice to meet you Jody. Jody, this not you first time to cruise with
us, no? Now, Jody, would you like to see
menu? Or for you, Jody, we have special menu.
I call it the special Jody menu. See, have Jody beet soup, Jody salad
with Jody Vinaigrette, Jody salmon, Jody cream pie for dessert, and Jody tea. So
Jody, what can I get you tonight?”
While those requirements
might be obvious, the most important requirement for those working above the
water line is their ability to sell.
What you may not realize is that the cruise lines make most of their
money from on board sales. Here you are a captive consumer with only the ship’s
stores available for days at sea.
When you need batteries
for your camera, who cares if it costs $15.99 for two AA batteries? It’s not like the captain is going to make a
u-turn so you can make a Wal-Mart run.
In the hot summertime the obvious big sales is their cool drinks. Batteries and alcohol are easy sales so where
does the need for super salesmen come in? Services provided.
“Feeling a little out of
sorts on this long voyage? Don’t rely on
prune juice alone; come to the free Detox seminar.” Of course once the free part is over, the
pressure is on to purchase detoxification pill, gels, creams, and juice.
However, when it comes to
pushing their beauty products, their salesmen could use some pointers,
especially when it comes to senior citizens.
For example:
1.
Never assume your client waiting for the
bunion scraping, heel sand blasting, and toenail grinding is the old lady with
the hairy legs in the capri pants.
Instead explain that before you can do any procedures you must see her
ID to confirm she is over 21. When she
stops grinning, she might be more receptive to your $200 arch support spiel.
worth of hair moisturizing treatments. Save that for the 29 year old who is afraid of turning 30. Instead, tell those senior frizzies about the bottle of hair serum found next to the 3,000 year old mummies who still had their wavy locks intact.
3.
Never suggest a $250 tube of face lifting
cream to a senior carrying a tube of Preparation H in her purse. She doesn’t know what your face tightening
cream can do, but she has proof of what the Preparation H can do. Save that for the 39 year old about to turn
40. Instead point to that young thing
getting a facial across the room and mention that you gave her great-granddaughter
a manicure the other day. Your sales
might just double.
4.
Never suggest
$159 teeth whitening procedures to a senior.
She could tell you she just tosses hers in a glass of Oxiclean for
$3.99. Suggest instead that the
procedure might benefit her "boyfriend" and that there is a special couple’s
discount. You might just make your
cruise quota.
5.
And finally,
don’t waste your time suggesting Botox injections to the elderly. By the time she finishes filling out all the
medications, vitamins, supplements, and recent surgeries she’s had, you will be
in port. Just ask if the senior’s
daughter-in-law that is standing next to her is her sister. You still won’t make a sale with the senior
citizen, but the daughter-in-law will sign up for the entire program…and you
will get a big tip from the mother-in-law.
Following these tips might avoid a silver-haired senior mutiny, and the cruise lines can continue making a profit.
