It isn’t a Faberge, but it could be!
By Jody Worsham
All rights reserved to explain the national debt
This all started with a business our tween-ager got for her
birthday; actually it was the promise of a business. Really it was to be a hands-on business
opportunity to explain how economics works and to provide her spending
money. Together we would build a chicken
pen, purchase some chickens, sell the eggs and make a fortune.
Our first mistake was purchasing 12 chickens on the
Clearance Aisle at the local feed store.
They were labeled as black and white speckled domineckers, the kind that
is featured on country style dish towels and wallpaper. After a month of living in the barn and
losing their cute yellow fuzz, none of them were black and white. They appeared
to be the illegitimate chicks of some Rhode Island Red and “a visiting rooster”.
Our second mistake was in underestimating the amount of
space they would need. As they grew, so
did the plans for the Trump Chicken Condos (see previous blog). Finally the TCC was ready for chickens.
All 12 chickens were transferred to Trump Condos. The tween-ager bought a clip board,
calculator, pens, and a ledger to keep track of expenses.
April 2….. 12
chickens @ $3 each $36
April 3….. l sack of chick starter $
7
April 17 2nd
sack of chick starter $8.50 $8.50
May 1 50 feet of
chicken wire, rafters, 24 2x4, tin, screws $489
May 2 3rd
sack of chick feed $9.00 $9.00
May 14 Expanded Trump
Chicken Condos, chain link, mortar, doors,
$598
May 20 Additional feeder and waterer $25
June 1 Covered
antique brick porch, rafters, tin $289
June 2 4 bags chicken feed @ $10 $40
June 16 4 bags chicken feed @ $12 each $48
July 6 `5 bags
chicken feed @ $13 each $53
July 30 Discovers one
chicken is a rooster (don’t ask)
Aug. 1 Adjusts projected income based on a dozen eggs a day
to 11 eggs a day.
Aug. 2 Applies for Federal Disaster Relief based on loss of
365 eggs per year.
Aug. 3 Turned down as rooster is considered an asset capable
of producing more chickens
Aug. 4 Reapplies for projected Federal Disaster Relief as
future baby chicks could also be roosters.
Aug. 5 Turned down as
Federal Government does not discriminate based on sex, same or opposite
Aug. 6 Advertises
Rooster on E-bay.
Aug-Sept. 10 bags of
laying mash @$13 each
$l30
Sept. 11 The first egg laid at a cost of $1,740.50
Oct 24, 2077 Projected
date when business will show a profit
Sept. 12 Files for Chapter 11
Sept. 13 Federal Government authorizes a bail-out of
$2,984.00 based on number of persons who would be unemployed if her business
failed.
Sept. 14 Files suite against chicken hatchery for mis-sexed
birds
Oct. 1 Punitive
damages of $3,894.22 awarded, lawyer takes half
Oct. 5 GOP pays $1,740.50
NOT to raise chickens in the future.
Oct. 6 Throws big
party serving Sunny Delight, deviled
eggs, and FRIED CHICKEN!
And that, my dear, is why America is in debt and no you can’t
start a gold fish farm!
