By Jody Worsham
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If your TV
serves as your night light like mine does, you make occasionally wake to one of
those infomercials. They seem to run
non-stop from 2 a.m. to around 6 a.m. I
have awakened to Eggies of a thousand pieces, the ceramic knives that can slice
tomatoes as thin as McDonalds, the diamond orgrenic non-stick skillet that
wouldn’t pass my burn test, and the giant cupcake cake pan that produces
nuclear mushroom shaped cakes, so radiant.
Either the
infomercial creators have entered menopause or their wives/mothers have because
now the hottest items being offered for sixteen payments of $19.99 are the
coolest.
Enter the Chillow.
Enter the Chillow.
The Chillow
is a pillow insert with some kind of cooling gel that keeps your head cool at
night. “No more flipping pillows at
night with the Chillow.” Now having gone
through hot flashes with a family that survived the trip, I can tell you that
your head is not the only part of your body that needs chillin’. I can see the Chill-sheet, the Freon filled sleeping bag, and the Snow Cone bra on the not so distant
horizon.
Do they
expect the hot mamas to put the gel filled seat cushions and Dr. Scholes
gellin’ insoles in the freezer before retiring at night? Wouldn’t it make more sense to just crank up
the old air conditioner, especially if you factor in shipping and handling?
With such a
large portion of the world’s population entering menopause, maybe it’s their
attempt at curtailing global warming. Or
maybe it’s more of a humanitarian effort to help the male population from
suffering frost bite in the summer.
If it is a
humanitarian effort, then I think they should offer a product that promises
unlimited dead silence between 2a.m. and
6 a.m. for six low payments of
$19.99. Now that is something I might
purchase.
Oh
wait. I already have that. It’s called the off button.
