By Jody Worsham
All rights reserved for MIT School of Weight s, Measures,
and Economics
No I have not had a brain transplant, although that might
not be a bad idea. And I haven’t been
struck by lightning that suddenly made it possible for me to do quantum
physics, calculus, or sixth grade math, but there has definitely been a change
in our lives. Let me explain.
For the past seven years I have made the twice daily trip
from our semi-thirty-five-acre-mini-plantation into town delivering and picking
up kids and passing Wal-Mart and McDonald’s a minimum of four times a day with
frequent stops at both places. Over this
period of time, the clearance aisles at Wal-Mart have slowly made their way to
our barn, the shop, and every closet in the house. Ballet,
gymnastics, Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, violin lessons, church activities and a
tight schedule resulted in fast food becoming a necessity as it was too far to
go home and eat and get back in town in time for the next activity. Those quarter pounders, happy meals, and
caffeine/calorie loaded mocha frappes have found their way to my backside
resulting in double digit stretch jeans.
Our credit card statement required extra postage.
At the beginning of the school year our children enrolled in
a new school. It is the same distance
from our semi-plantation as their old school, but in the opposite
direction. In fact, there is nothing
between our house and the new school except pine trees and speed limit signs;
no gas stations, no McDonald’s, no Wal-Mart…not even a Dollar Tree.
Now, because I no longer pass by and stop at Wal-Mart’s two or three times a day, the
clearance items are now more equally available to people who only come to
Wal-Mart once or twice a week and our clearance aisle inventory is dwindling. Since time, distance, cost of speeding
tickets and gasoline have increased, we have dropped gymnastics, Girl Scouts,
and one set of ballet lessons.
The biggest change has come in the form of meals. McDonald’s does not deliver so we have had to
rely on my cooking. Since I am not the World’s Best Cook (I am,
however, in the running for Worst Cook Title) we have resorted to more natural
foods….bread, peanut butter, honey, apples, bananas…natural foods that require no
ovens or forgotten pots on the stove.
Also, because there are no longer four pages of credit card charges to
McDonald’s and Wal-Mart, our credit card statement covers only two pages and
one stamp.
And that, in a convoluted manner, leads us to the title of
this week’s post. During the first six
weeks of school minus Happy Meals, quarter pounders, and mocha frappes, I have
lost eight pounds. The credit card
people did call and asked if I had been ill or kidnapped.
I said, “Nope, just going in a different direction.”
